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I Just Want To Be Held

By Sumitra Burton.  

As I stopped this morning to check in with myself, the words came, I just want to be held … by someone big and strong … and told that everything’s going to be alright. I could feel the longing in my heart, as a rather intense pressure. I just want to be held….

I stayed with the longing in the heart and held it tenderly – this deep wanting – and it felt so old and familiar, ancient even. I remembered as a child seeing a painting in church of Jesus in his long white robe, tenderly gazing at the innocent children at his feet. Their little eyes were curious, open, trusting, and his eyes gave the impression of unconditional, totally present, love.

That impression of unconditional love sank deep into my heart and has grown and blossomed over the decades. As I turn towards it now, the sensation intensifies — as if to fill the room, the world, the infinite space of the universe. Vast, intense longing. Tears come, and I allow it all to be felt, to be held.

The intensity of the longing softens as I hold it, gradually melting into itself, or so it seems. More tears come and I realize I am deeply tired – of the way things have been in the world, of the longing for life to be kinder and more gentle. And yet there is something so precious in simply “being with” it all. A gathering, a family of togetherness, all by myself.

Everything is already here. I can hold myself! Nothing is missing, nothing to be lost or gained. I’m simply turning to meet whatever arises, with tender curiosity.

It’s obvious now that my old world of a few weeks ago, before the stay-in-place order, was feeling frenetic, old and worn, and there’s a blessed message arising that says, Stop, slow down, rest a while. What’s really important? Go deeper. Meet and heal the schisms, the divisions that hold me hostage, in resistance. Wait to re-enter until I feel renewed, with a fresh vision and vibrant heart. Just Be Here. Take time to rest.

 

To read more about Sumitra Burton, click here.

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