By Marcia Martin.
I was in a meeting a few days ago and we were checking in, visiting, just touching base. I guess I was distracted by the view from my office. Actually, I was not distracted; I was looking from my window. I saw people I care about. I saw the wind moving the bamboo outside the window and the leaves changing color as they moved with the wind. It was obvious some of us were stressed with the current happenings. Others appeared at ease, joyful, relaxed. It all depends on what you see when you look out your window, if you assign meaning to what you see and if there is “time” attached to this meaning.
This is exactly what the Living Inquiries are like for me. Sometimes I look out my window and see storms, wind blowing furiously and threatening life as I see it. Other times, there can be a calm breeze or it may be perfectly still. In the evenings there may be beautiful colors in the sunset. In the mornings fish roll and jumped with such energy, I always smile. All of this is experienced with a view from the same window. All of this changes, second to second, never to be experienced in exactly the same way.
This evening, I was sitting in my office chair, waiting for the sun to go down. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by this huge wave of sadness. As I sat with this sensation, words started to come up, “I have failed again”, “I am alone again”, tears running down my face, I simply allowed to the words to come, experienced the sensations and tears, just exactly as they came. And within a few minutes, it was over.
Now while this is certainly something I may take to a facilitator or spend more time with on my own, the point for me in this moment is to notice and allow without any agenda. As I write these words, I feel comforted. I have shared myself with myself. Sometimes that is all that is needed.
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