“What we’re really addicted to is thought itself.” These were the first words I remember Scott Kiloby saying when we first met back in 2011. I had been on a spiritual path for ten years and hearing these words something shifted. I saw how being enmeshed in thought was painting an imaginary world about self, others, and circumstances. With my attention reflexively drawn to focus on thoughts, they’d grow so big, feel so real and appear so true, I was effectively hypnotized and believing into all of it. It had seemed so normal as to go unnoticed before, but now I had glimpsed I was living life through an unseen lens of thought and belief.
Core deficiency thoughts and stories of being unlovable or not good enough had been driving my entire life. I tried everything to avoid feeling unlovable or wrong. Strategies like trying to look good, perform well and get praise failed to change the way I felt about myself. Suppressing with alcohol, gratifying myself through sex, trying to get and keep love, escaping through marijuana and even more so through spirituality, were some of the many ways I attempted to avoid feeling and facing what I secretly believed about myself.
It wasn’t thoughts that were the problem though, it was that I was so interested in them. I had always considered thoughts as coming from me, as my own voice speaking to myself, informing and advising myself. So I trusted and valued them implicitly. As a result my interest in thoughts was total. They were also an endless source of distraction and entertainment. It would take a lot more time and suffering to realize just how much valuing thoughts was enslaving me to them. This understanding would bring a shift in my relationship with thoughts and what I value most.
Life would again bring me to my knees but seeing the same pattern playing out just with different people, it was clear the cause was nowhere else but in me. Having the tools of the Living Inquiries helped me relax my guard and face what I was avoiding. As I dove inward, earnestly seeking whatever was keeping me stuck, I saw it was remnant thoughts from circumstance no longer here. These thoughts that for so long seemed to threaten my very existence, couldn’t bear the merest light of scrutiny. Seeing they were as real as a mirage fading when approached, I could no longer value them the same and believing fell away. Or so it seemed…
Initially this was life changing. My heart opened, unobscured by beliefs of being unlovable or not enough. But those thoughts would eventually return and I’d fall for them again and again. Finding myself hypnotized by the same old stories was a big shock. A mounting disdain for what was untrue fed a thirst for what was true, and naturally I began exploring being over thinking. As I opened to my own being, I quickly discovered it to be beyond anything mind was offering. Valuing it more, I found myself resting in being more than in thinking. Coming home to my own being was coming home to true sanity and peace. It was at least as important as seeing through beliefs.
This is the other aspect of the Living Inquiries called “Rest”. At minimum, rest provides a temporary reprieve from being endlessly lost in thoughts and beliefs. At utmost, rest is knowing ourselves without the lens of any thought or belief, which is knowing ourselves as we truly are. Resting more, our default shifts from being lost in thought and stories, to being free and knowing what’s true.
As we work together we safely and gently meet the issues at hand and come to face what had once been unapproachable. Issues commonly addressed are deficiency, compulsion, fear, trauma, relationship, spirituality, sexuality, health and more. We explore our living experience and let it reveal what wants to be met. Taking rest and coming to know our own being, we find our greatest resource is our self. Meeting beliefs from here, we get to discover for ourselves what is true and be free of what is not.
If you’d like to connect to see if we are a good fit, please reach me at [email protected].
“Being tired of feeling like a victim of my own smoking habits – through exploration seeing the trigger mechanism that kept the habits going, now the urge is no longer seen as a tsunami washing me out to sea, but simply a as a wave passing me by. Our final session became trans formative on a fundamental level: Hanging out with the fear of rejection and the shame of feeling needy, just sticking around until there was nothing left but air. Nothing but space, all inclusive. – it was very effective and I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to work that way.” TB
Living Inquiries facilitator George Morgano interviewed by Helena Weaver on how he was drawn to the Living Inquiries and what he finds powerful about them. (9 mins)
George describes his spiritual path as a seeker and how things began to change when he attended a workshop with Scott Kiloby. There he learned that we are addicted to our thoughts. “That was a big light bulb that went off for me – seeing my own thoughts like objects”.
Several years later he reconnected with the Living Inquiries and realised they had evolved to become an even deeper way of inquiry. He took the certification training in 2016. “It was so powerful, so useful – it helped break me open – well, life took care of that and the Living Inquiries were there as tools that just kicked in when I was ready to use them.”