Home » Facilitators » Melanie Balint Gray


Melanie Balint Gray

melanie balint gray

Weyers Cave, VA, US

A self-improvement junkie for decades; that was my “diagnosis”. The striving took many, many forms; from trying SO hard to please others that I contorted myself into some “fake Melanie”, to looking everywhere (food, drink, self-help, education, exercise, shopping and more) to try to satisfy myself.

In my 40’s, something began to unravel. Was there nowhere I would feel I belonged, no time when I would feel complete, good enough, or whole? Fear accompanied these questions, emerging as migraines and relentless, low-level depression.

Then, a thread snapped completely and the tapestry of “me and my life” fell apart–marriage, job, family life—everything. It was as if I had gone into self-destruct mode. And maybe I had. After all, the “self” that I thought myself to be (helpless, incapable, wrong…) disgusted me. I seemed condemned to a hell where everything and everyone needed fixing. Only I couldn’t yet see, it was a hell of my own creation…

I tried many tools, healing modalities and self-discovery approaches. They helped… somewhat.

Then someone said, “Check out Scott Kiloby and The Unfindable Inquiry.” I did. So excited by what I heard and saw, I signed up for a three-session package during which I sat with myself, with the comings and goings of thoughts, feelings and sensations and did nothing to fix them! With guidance, all I did was look and feel, to discover what parts of my experience were “stuck” together creating my current storyline. What? No fixing? No changing? What a relief!!! AND surprisingly, things shifted in life after the sessions… The Living Inquiries profoundly deepened the “inner work” that I had begun.

OR, maybe, through using LI, I began to see that there was no “depth” to get to! Yes, yes, yes.

I welcome most of life these days, laughter is commonplace now and when I notice I’m bracing myself against what’s showing up, I now know I can simply take a look at what’s here; perhaps simply sit with it or maybe gently ask a few questions and see what treasures are revealed. So precious.

A certified facilitator since 2013, my primary focus is working with abused women who are masking their pain with food. I help them put an end to emotional eating, heal the wounds of abuse and discover they are, already, more than enough.

Would you like to gently explore your perceptions of the world and of yourself in a safe “container”? So many surprises await you! I’m pretty unflappable and I’m told I create a safe space for others.

If you want to meet with me for a complimentary discovery session to see if we’re a good fit, then email me here for details.  I’d love to meet you!

With Gratitude,
Melanie Gray, PhD
Certified Living Inquiries Facilitator
HeartMath Stopping Emotional Eating Coach


<– Back to the full facilitator listing

“When I came to Melanie I had such a conflicted relationship with food, having dieted for years. I labeled some foods “good” and others “bad”. I felt guilty and ashamed—an endless cycle of giving in to cravings and feeling ashamed or avoiding the cravings and feeling empowered. I felt almost powerless over cravings. Well, I felt I could defeat them at times, but they always came back. It’s very stressful to constantly fight cravings.

The thought of not controlling my eating was very scary and Melanie helped me face that fear. She is helping me look at cravings and compulsions and make moment-to-moment decisions about eating. I am also becoming aware of the cycles of thinking and the emotions behind them.

I feel freer than before. I see cravings as thoughts and not commands to eat something. I have let go of the guilt and shame and don’t beat myself up for having a sweet treat. I am learning to pay attention to what my body really wants.”

“I was just super appreciating you and the kindness and space you are when intense emotions come up. And the sense of safety that you’re able to create by simply being you. Magical You!” A.K.